Malay College Class of 2004

Today's lesson

- Girls must be convinced, so learn to promote yourself - convince them that 'Engineers are the Best Boyfriends' Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School Graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.

Sini saye ade satu cite untuk pengajarang semue. Bagi sape-sape yang nok gi interbiuw dang ade niat nok nippu mase interbiuw tu, ingat-ingatlah cite ni. Kisoh benar ni tau bukang rekaang!!!

Beberape hari yang lepas, satu temuduge kenaikang pangkat telah dibuat
oleh saloh sebuoh anok syarikak TNB. Biaselah kang kalu nok naik pangkat mestilah duduk ujiang bertulis dang lepas tu barulah ujiang bercakak ! ; pulok (temuduga lah tu) test suare lah pulok. Dang dalang rama-rama yang terpilih tu ade tige kawang kite dari Tranung telah dipilih untuk di temuduge. Kebetulang pulok tige kawang kite ni adelah peserte ketige yang pertame.

I the penis, hereby request a raise in
salary for the following reasons.
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get week-ends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has a poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis.
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your requests for the following reasons.
You do not work 8 hrs a day.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative.
You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts,
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely
The Management

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(Oh my.)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig!)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life... quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm...)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species known to have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)