Malay College Class of 2004

NEW EUROPEAN UNION LANGUAGE

The European Comission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,which was the other possibility.

As a part of negotiations,the British governmentconceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year in-phase plan that would become known as "Euro English".

In the 1st year,"s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,this will make the sivil servant jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm inthe sekond year where the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year,publik akseptanse of the new spellingkan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Government will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer,ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl

Zer wil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil fing it ezi tu understand ech oza.Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und,efter ze fifz yer,ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

ni btul ker tak ni.. mcm karut jer...